Full Circle
by Kitkatlovesswift
Summary: joe loves his brother, Kevin. one day he thinks about times they've shared. Jovin, Jevin, Joe/Kevin, one shot to Miley Cyrus's Full Circle


**hey fist jevin story. please review, i need some feedback. xxxx**

Full Circle. 

_I've been in a rut_

_Back and forth enough _

_Heart like a wheel_

The ceiling is very white. I've noticed that a lot recently. I seem to be staring at it a lot. I can't decide what to do. Should I tell him? I don't think I can. It'd hurt him too much. But I love him so much. I can't face him; I can't stand to be in a room with him. But yesterday I was the opposite. Following him around, like a lost puppy. It's pathetic. Unbelievably stalker-ish. But what can I say? I'm in love; this is what love does to you. Learn from this people, love is great sometimes but the rest of the time it's like continually being dissected without being knocked out first.

_Without you around_

_So uncomfortable_

_Is how it feels_

Remembering all the amazing times we've had. Amazingly normal. But they mean everything to me now. I can't stand this. I **need **him around. Even if it's just sitting in the same room as me I feel more….. calm, relaxed, at ease. He makes me excited, nervous, angry, unhappy, distracted, drives me insane but at the same time he makes me feel like I'm the most special person on this Earth. To him at least. And that's all I want. To be special to him. He doesn't even have to love me anymore than as he does now, I just need to know he thinks I'm special, someone worth his time and energy.

_Every time you're near_

_Trouble disappears_

_Under the ground_

He sooths me. Don't know why. But he does. I remember one time……………..

_He walks into my room. I'm sitting on my bed, my head in my hands, a few tears trickling down my face. "Bud, you ok? What's wrong?" I don't answer him, but that doesn't stop Kevin. Nothing does when he wants something. "Joe, come on bro, you can tell me. You can tell me anything." No I can't Kev. And it's because of you I'm in this state. I saw you kissing her. God, I thought I'd felt jealousy before. Turns out I was wrong, far wrong. But __**he**__ was here. And I felt all the worry and pain leave once he put his arms round me. I felt so warm, so at home, like this is how it should be. I wish I could tell him, but he'd be disgusted. I'm his brother and a guy. Never gonna happen. _

He sat with me all night, probably got crap in his arms from that and he never said anything apart from "Shh" and "is ok". Truly awe inspiring person.

_But when you go too far_

_Silver clouds'll start _

_Hanging around_

But with a brother so incredibly amazing there is always a flip side. A group of girls has been badgering him to date one of them. He doesn't want to, he says he likes someone but doesn't know how to tell them. I know how he feels. But whoever he likes he might have a chance with. I know I'll never have a chance with him. I don't know why but sometimes, it's like everything I do infuriates him. Like last week:

_I walk into the kitchen and my heart tightens. Kevin's making a sandwich. "Hi Kev." He rounds on me, eyes flashing. "WHAT!" Saying nothing, mainly due to shock, I just stand there, my mouth opening and closing like a fish's. Exactly like I feel, out of place, drowning. What was happening? It may not sound like much but this is Kevin. He never yells or raises his voice. "Joe, just leave me alone. I don't want to be annoyed today." Ouch. That hurt. I didn't realise I annoyed him so much. "Sorry. I'll be in my room." He realises what he said, realising how much that must have hurt me. "Wait-Joe!" In his heist to get to me he knocks over a bag of flour that mom had been using for a cake. It drops, spilling open on the floor, covering both of us from head to toe. Covered in the silvery white of Mom's special flour. "Joe, I am sorry. I was just so frustrated. I shouldn't have taken it out on you, you don't annoy me. In fact you __**always**__ brighten up my day. Sorry and thanks for being you." He hugs me and walks out. My eyes follow him until I can't see his back anymore. See what I mean? Like I'm the most important person in the world. _

I need to hear his voice right now. These memories are doing nothing to dispel my frustration and longing.

_I know why_

_Tried to run- but I keep on _

_Coming back_

_Full circle and I_

_Can't jump the track_

_Can't let you go whoa_

There is just something magic about Kevin that prevents me from seeing how wrong being in love with him is. Every time I try to reason with myself I just keep thinking of his eyes, his smile, and his hair. A smile tugs at the corners of my lips. The thought of him always makes me smile. But I couldn't always hide my feelings. Once, a while ago, I tried to escape them completely. Thinking that if I left, disappeared out of his life, then I'd escape my feelings for him. But I got to the end of the street before I couldn't go any further. I can't survive without him. It just doesn't work. I just don't work. So I ran back, unpacking at a break neck speed. Nobody knew what I'd attempted. I just can't seem to get him out of my head. I have a **really** one track mind. No matter what I'm thinking about I always seem to end up thinking about Kevin. Not that I don't like spending hours thinking about his perfection but I do need to do other things. Like sleep, eat and go to school. But if I'm thinking about him then, that must mean, that it's the best use of my head space right? Or is that just the loved crazed ramblings of a loon? Yeah defiantly the loon.

_Tied to one _

_So I keep on_

_Coming back_

_Full circle_

'_Cause I know you'll come around_

_I know you'll come around (yeah I know you'll come around)_

It's like being immersed in drying concrete. I think. Well that's how I imagine it. You can't get out, no matter how much you struggle. You just get sucked in deeper, like quicksand. I just keep getting my heart broken every time I see Kevin out with girls. Although that hasn't been happening much lately. Strange. I just hope he knows he's important to me. Not how much though, that'd scare him. And that's the last thing I want. Kevin scared to come near me.

_Skippin' down a broken path_

_How long can I last_

_Please let me know_

_Where's the finish line_

_Cause I got to find_

_Somewhere to go_

A picture catches my eye as I roll onto my stomach, bored of the ceiling. Me and Kevin. Smiling, our arms round each other, about ten years ago. We were about ten and twelve. Well Kevin was almost thirteen, a fact he'd never let me forget. He was sooooo ready to be a teenager. I had this kind of hero worship of him so I went along with whatever he said. Or did. But we let lose that night. We'd had too many Cokes and were hyper. So on the way home Kevin started skipping, just for something to do. I immediately copied him. So funny, everyone else was killing themselves with laughter. Good times. Great now I sound like a Grandad. Fabulous.

_I don't wanna hear_

_People interfere _

_What do they know_

_What I feel inside_

_When I'm up all night_

_Needing you home_

My memories turn sour as a really random thought comes to mind. Mom and Dad telling me I need to find someone. A girlfriend. Maybe I don't want one! I want Kevin, but unfortunately I can't have him cause he's related to me! Evil fate. Almost every night I just sit up in bed, thinking of him, wanting him, needing him to smile. He is just so perfect. I really can't think while he's near me. I have enough presence of mind not to tell him my feelings but that's about it. God, I really should do something, anything. Picking up his guitar that he left here about a week ago, I just let my hands wander over it. Kevin's hands touched this. My door flies open, revealing a very angry Kevin standing framed by moonlight. God that's a sight.

_I'll keep on running 'til we meet in the middle_

_I'll put pride aside and give just a little_

"H-hi Kev, what's up?" His expression changed, to one of nervousness, terror and above all, determination. He doesn't say a word; he just walks over to me, puts the guitar on the floor at my feet and slams his lip into mine. Sweet Jesus. I freeze, not sure how to react, but hey, if he's gonna kiss me I may as well enjoy it. I deepen it, my hand sliding through his hair. His lips turn upwards in a smile. He pulls away. Damm it. "J-Joe, I'm- sorry I just" Oh. He didn't mean it. Well here goes nothing. "I'm not. I love you Kevin, I just couldn't tell you. So go ahead, hate me, it can't be worse than this." I turn away, moving my body away, towards the head of my bed. "Joe, I----- I didn't know. I love you." No way. My head turns, slowly, disbelieving. His smile is blinding.

_There's miles to go but we both know _

_That we'll make it_

_I know why_

_Tied to one _

_So I keep on_

_Coming back_

_Full circle_

'_Cause I know you'll come around_

_I know you'll come around (yeah I know you'll come around)_

This is the start. As Kevin's mouth finds mine again I can feel the joy, elation and contentment. My smile is wide and happy. But is there any other type of smile? I finally have him. Its been over a year, I've waited for 12 months, but it's worth it. It's gonna be tough telling mom and dad but I don't care. I've come from being semi-depressed to ecstatic. Full circle.

hope you liked. xxxxxxxxxxxx


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